Monday, July 4, 2011

glimpses of change/keeping it real

I thought that I would have blogged a lot more about our summer project. To be honest though, I've had a hard time wanting to put up a "cute" picture about what we are "up to" when there has been so much more to our summer. In a way, I would have felt like I wasn't being honest just highlighting us or the students behind a beautiful backdrop while I was sometimes struggling with being here.

With all of my heart, I believe that students lives have been truly changed since they have been out here. A student even came to know the Lord a few weeks ago! I've seen their eyes opened to truth and their hearts softened by God's grace. It has been a joy to be a small part of their growth, but personally, this summer has been kind of hard!

The summer project schedule has really brought out a lot of my sin and selfishness. The staff work six days a week and have been out of town way more than desired. It's not real life, but it has been long enough to resent the schedule and become tired of staying in our condo with Henry while the other staff are out with the students. My heart has become discontent and even asks the question of what is my purpose in all of this. It is a total blessing to be Henry's mother, so I long to be content with exactly where God has me. I know that a lot of people are reading (and blogging about) "One Thousand Gifts," so I started reading it and making my list in hopes of greater gratitude and embracing every day even if it seems like I lived it the day before. Ann V. says that gratefulness is a learned thing, and I feel like I am just at the beginning of my journey.

I have seen glimpses of change in my heart, and have experienced the blessing of being at home with Henry when Hank gets home from work. It has also been fun to co-lead a bible study to have more contact with students and to hear first hand what they are learning. We're thankful to be in such a beautiful place, for students willing to learn, and for our job with Campus Crusade! Thanks for letting me keeping it real:)

We're here for another 12 days and then off to Fort Collins, CO for our huge staff conference!


LB said...

Friend, though I am in a different situation than you I can relate to your thoughts!! I constantly have to fight the lie that there is no real purpose to my days. I am praying for you!!!

The Brannens said...

I remember having these same feelings when I started staying home after Will. I felt like my job was so pointless and meaningless. But the older the kids get I am more and more thankful for this relationship I have with them because of all the time we spend together. I'll be praying you can find joy and contentment even in the long days.

jj said...

Praying for you! I know you will be so refreshed in Fort Collins! I love you.

Morgan said...

yeah! miss ya'll! I just started that book too!

Emily said...

So thankful for the vulnerability in this post and have also heard so many amazing things about One Thousand Gifts (looking in to buying it)!

Love you guys and we pray for you constantly!