Friday, June 29, 2012

"I'll love you forever"

When you saw the post title, I'm sure some of you thought this was going to be a sweet story about Henry, Catherine, etc. I wish. Instead, this is a blog post about my sin, frustration, and shear impatience with our two year old. I remember reading the book, I'll love you forever, and not being able to identify with this...

"The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "This kid is driving me CRAZY!"

And now, all I have to say is "amen, sister". Since Catherine has been here, we've reached a new level and definition of a two year old.   I've been surprised and saddened by both my lack of patience and sharp words. 

If you came to our house right now, you would see glimpses of what I'm talking about. But it is when there is no company, Hank has gone to work, and it's just the three of us when the full on behavior rares its ugly head. I know that it is has been magnified because of Catherine, but what do I do with my heart and attitude in the meantime? Again, I wish I could tell you that I had figured it out like having verses over the kitchen sink or finding my energy from the Word in the mornings. But I'm still in the middle of seeing my sinful heart and being reminded of my desperate need for my Savior. The crazy thing too, is that I'm pretty sure I act like a two year old to the Lord fairly often. Oh how I am so thankful that he doesn't treat me the same way that I often treat Henry. For He is love, He is joy, He is peace, He is patience, He is kindness, He is goodness, He is gentleness, and He is self-control.

I AM grateful for this little boy and by God's grace, we'll get through this just like we've gotten through different stages in his short two years of life. I pray that he'll see Jesus even in with my many imperfections. So in saying that, Henry...

"I'll love you forever, 
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
my baby you'll be." 


LB said...

I can so relate to this!! I cringe when I hear myself speaking to my children. The other night, I was in a terrible mood--trying to get some laundry done, toys where everywhere, I was tired, and I had just said something to Ada--she looked at me and said, "are you having a bad attitude?" Which is something I ask her all the time...she learns it from me!! I just pray for God to have mercy on me and my children!!

Amanda said...

Ahh Anna this is such a great post! This week I am seeing Will becoming more toddler-ish. Red face, arch back..etc. I wonder where did my baby go. Then I remember that he is born a sinner just like I am. You are doing great!